And then there's modesty. I don't remember being tought much about modesty when I was younger. I'm pretty sure I got to run around naked until I was about 7. I didn't understand why my dad and brother got to have their shirts off when we played in the hose on a hot summer day and I was supposed to keep mine on. For the most part my parents let me where what I wanted, but I remember remarks that I only gradually understood as I got older coming from other family and friends. I believed my body was a beautiful work of art to be appreciated and even did some nude modeling when I was in college. So socially, the only reason I can see for modesty is to deter others from abuse, and that doesn't always work. Plenty of modestly dressed girls have been abused.
I recently read one article about modesty and another about sex-positive parenting. I feel like there's validity to both, but at the same time the seem to be contradictory. I'll share my thoughts with you, and maybe you can share some with me (assuming we can all do so respectfully.) I would say we are pretty sex-positive here. We use scientifically accurate terminology for body parts, answer questions simply and honestly, and avoid shaming. The problem is, I really don't know what to say when the "whys" keep coming. Why do we need privacy? Why is that private? The only answer I can come up with is that some people might want to hurt you or take advantage of you if you don't keep your body private. But then I'm told it shouldn't be about fear. And I don't want to scare my kid, but I don't know what else to say and I want to keep them safe. Because honestly, that is the only good reason I can come up with. I could say, "because it makes other people uncomfortalbe," but then where's the line. Public breastfeeding makes some people uncomfortable, but I'm still going to do it. Spaghetti strap shirts or skirts above the knee make some people uncomfortalbe.
And then there's modesty. I don't remember being tought much about modesty when I was younger. I'm pretty sure I got to run around naked until I was about 7. I didn't understand why my dad and brother got to have their shirts off when we played in the hose on a hot summer day and I was supposed to keep mine on. For the most part my parents let me where what I wanted, but I remember remarks that I only gradually understood as I got older coming from other family and friends. I believed my body was a beautiful work of art to be appreciated and even did some nude modeling when I was in college. So socially, the only reason I can see for modesty is to deter others from abuse, and that doesn't always work. Plenty of modestly dressed girls have been abused.
2 Comments
John Allen Morton
8/6/2016 08:34:38 pm
I understand your desire not to scare your children or to use fear as a motivator BUT, fear is a good and natural thing, so long as one is taught how to deal with it. Fear, and learning how to respond to it, is what has allowed us to survive as a species.
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Heather
8/7/2016 05:33:57 am
Your comment is timely. Yesterday I went out to check on the kids and found Little Nut in full nude and Acorn in his underpants. I told them that taking off their clothes defeated the purpose Dad was trying to accomplish when he told them to put their hats on.
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