I've started to notice a pattern. I feel incredibly, hopelessly overwhelmed - like I'm drowning. Then I feel on top of the world! Then I'm overwhelmed again. Last Thursday and Friday I was feeling hopelessly overwhelmed. Today I feel likeI might finally be getting things under control, more so than I've felt in a long time. That might mean an even bigger crash than usual is coming.
But hopefully not! Maybe I'm finally doing something different and it will stick.
What am I doing differently?
It sounds counter intuitive, but I'm trying less to be productive. I noticed my attitude was really bad when I was trying to be super productive and the kids were thwarting my efforts, getting into fights or just demanding my immediate attention. If I just put down what I'm doing and spend some time with them, they seem to soak it up and soon get much better at independent play. Or it could be coincidence and they're just finally not cutting teeth or going through some sort of developmental leap at the moment. Either way, I think this is still a good plan. When the kids need attention, stop and give them attention.
I've also been home for 5 days in a row now! This is very hard for me. The only way this happened is because I skipped church on Sunday (because I was getting sick and the roads were bad) and cancelled an appointment on Monday (ditto). We have gym class tomorrow, Little Nut's doctor appointment Thursday, Krav Maga Thursday night, Bible study Friday, a possible outting on Saturday and church and/or a toy show on Sunday.
My husband has been home more too. Even though trucking is still pretty steady, he's home earlier. Even when he has shop work to do, he can only work in this cold for so long and is home earlier. Contrary to my earlier statement about trying less, I'm trying to take advantage of his presence as much as possible and get caught up on stuff while he's here. Maybe, maybe, MAYBE I won't fall so far behind and feel so overwhelmed when planting starts.
Which reminds me, this is the slow season...Prairie Moon's catalog came today. Gardening will begin soon enough. The horses are here now and I'm anxious to work with them again. All our waking hours will soon be spent outside. Productive night-time hours will all but disappear. A progress report came from my Montessori school today reminding me I need to finish my assignments. Taxes need to be done. Kids are growing - we need a new carseat.
Yes, I still have a looming to-do list. This is the tip of the iceberg. But today I felt good...prepare for landing.